Inside, Outside, Upside Down

My alter-ego is a demon from Hell.  Truly.  I guess I should have read a lot more comic books as a child because I would have related to the Hulk or Spiderman I think. Last week, due to my "demon", I had the most devastating moment of my teaching career.

I went to school, a bit tired, with a bit of a headache, but "functional".  Those lovely readers out there with migraines will know what I mean.  I had a level 4 or 5 migraine but I needed to work and I just power through those icky days. I started teaching my first class of the day and then all heck broke loose.

Instantly, I felt drugged.  My vision started to swim.  I felt dizzy; I thought I was going to faint in front of my class.  My speech started to slur.  I had trouble articulating clear thoughts and sentences. In a panic, I asked my teaching neighbor to find the assistant principal to cover my class.  The kids looked terrified. To make a long story short, I had to leave for the day.

I had to sit in a dark room while our lovely secretary collected my things and assured me that my classes would be covered. She actually carried my stuff for me and drove me home. I couldn't even open the door.  I had to watch my every step to make sure I didn't tumble over. I made it to the sofa and didn't leave it for hours; I slept through my darling daughter putting cold cloths on my head (supervised by her father). I felt weak, and scared and vulnerable and helpless. The pain was searing and totally unmanageable. I was completely at the whim and discretion of the pain for two days.

Hence, my alter-ego. No control over her appearance.  No control. Period. Good-bye Wendy, Hello Migraina.

Completely humiliating.

Thanks to the kindness of my amazing family and faculty, I made it through, but I just wanted to cry in shame.

SO... flash forward a week. 

Albert Einstein says insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. (I am paraphrasing.)

So, now I am trying some new things.

1. I am having the mercury fillings removed from my mouth.  Just in case.
2. I am going to stop trying every wild suggestion all the doctors say because they don't all agree with each other and I feel like a tree in a tornado.
3.  I am going to do what feels right to ME.
4.  I want to use less medication and more whole foods, exercise, stress reduction.
5.  I want a plan to change my lifestyle and look at root causes rather than treat symptoms.
6.  I am planning a full on assault to take back my life and health.  MISSION HEAL.

This is going to chronicle the good, bad, and ugly along the way. Maybe it will help inspire others to make positive life changes as well. :)